The following story was published by the Associated Press and subsequently picked up by newspapers across the country. Kalakaua’s response—marked by his typical candor, humility, and humor—kept it from staying in the news for long.
“Do you want a masturbating rapist who cheated on tests in high school as your next president?”
That’s the question Conserve America, a conservative political action committee supporting John McCain, will ask voters in a series of ads aimed at independent presidential candidate Noa Kalakaua. The latest Los Angeles Times/Bloomberg poll shows Kalakaua even with McCain and two points behind Senator Barack Obama.
“The purpose of this ad,” said Bennet Swank, Conserve America’s president, “is simply to inform the American people. That’s the purpose of all the ads we run, whether they’re about Senator Obama, Senator McCain, or Mr. Kalakaua.”
The ad campaign, which will begin appearing on TV and in newspapers in major markets, will simply feature snippets of text from the section of Kalakaua’s website called Skeletons in the Closet. Swank showed one of the ads at a press conference in Biloxi, MS, where Conserve America is headquartered.
The simple ad includes nothing more than white text on a black screen. It begins by asking viewers if they want a masturbating rapist who cheated on tests in high school as their next president. The next screen says, “Noa Kalakaua has admitted to date raping a college student.” The screen after that says “Noa Kalakaua admits to extensive masturbation.” The next screen says “Noa Kalakaua admits to cheating on exams and in sports.” The final screen says “Noa Kalakaua admits to using pornography.” The ad closes simply by posing a question. “Is the kind of man you want to lead the greatest country in the world?”
“We feel it’s important for the American people to know how Mr. Kalakaua has lived his life. It’s easy to get swept up in the hubbub surrounding his singing ability and his TV show and the fact that he’s an independent. The bottom line, though, is that Mr. Kalakaua, by his own admission, lacks moral character and turpitude, and we believe most Americans will feel this makes him unfit to lead this country.”
The Kalakaua Campaign responded to news of Swank’s comments and Conserve America’s planned ad campaign almost immediately by posting a video on its website. Kalakaua admitted there was nothing “untrue” in the ad. He did, though, urge both his supporters and his opponents to visit his website.
“I personally don’t agree with Conserve America’s approach. My complaint is not that their ads are sensationalist, which they are, but rather that they distract from the issues facing this country.” Three times in the video post, Kalakaua said “I am not perfect.”
Kalakaua went on to explain that three months before he launched his campaign, he’d sat down and drafted a list of moments in his life where he’d been disappointed by his own conduct. When he decided to run, he felt it was worth sharing that list with the public, so he created a page on his website called “Skeletons in the Closet.”
“Everything Conserve America said about me is true. I have looked at porn. I have masturbated. I was, in one instance in college, overaggressive in a sexual encounter. All of it is true. But the Conserve America ads fail to point out one very important thing: the human capacity for thought, reflection, and change.”
“All too often,” Kalakaua said, “we demand our politicians to be consistent. Sometimes we’d rather see them be consistent than see them do what they think is right for the country if it contradicts something they’ve said or done before.”
Kalakaua said Conserve America is using the “doctrine of consistency” to portray him as a pornography consuming rapist. “That’s the problem with ads like these,” Kalakaua said. “They ignore our capacity for change. I have changed. I’m not a rapist. I don’t consume pornography. I don’t cheat. I’m not perfect and have not always behaved perfectly, but I’m by no means bound by what I’ve done in the past.”
In the video, Kalakaua urged voters to list out those parts of their own lives that they’re not proud of. “What are the things you do, say, or think, that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know about? It’s worth thinking about those things so you can explore ways to change them.”
“I can’t go back and change the things I’ve done, but I’ve changed the way I live my life now and I’ve tried to be honest about my shortcomings. If I am elected by the American people, I want them to know exactly who they’re electing. In closing, I must say thanks to Conserve America for helping me to share more of this story with the public. This is my first real TV ad.”
The ads about Kalakaua are expected to begin running next week in most major markets.
